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Questioning the Rules of Life

Questioning the Rules of Life? What path will you take?

Questioning the Rules of Life?
What path will you take?

Questioning the Rules of Life

The rules of society suck.

Laws are good, I like a bit of peace and order in my world, but unwritten rules suck. And people are questioning the rules of life. Let’s see if any of these sound familiar:

Do the best you can at school so you can get a good job

Don’t fail – ever

Don’t make the same mistakes your parents did

Stay in your good, secure 9-5 job no matter what

Invest for the future

Take a job in line with your intelligence

You can’t travel long term with kids

You have to have a big fancy house with the white picket fence

You need to have a husband/wife to be happy

What we can achieve is very limited, so it is foolish to have bigger expectations that the ‘normal’ ones

So often people arrive at a certain point in their life and wonder how the hell they ever got there. The answer is a very simple one – every choice you have ever made has lead you to arrive at this point. What needs to be questioned is the influences behind the choices. Society, parents, friends and media all have an unwritten ‘say’ in how we live our life.

As a child, it is hard to be in a position to stand up for yourself. We are, after all, taught to respect our elders within the context of the culture we have grown up in. When we are given messages such as ‘be seen and not heard’ and ‘don’t speak unless you are spoken to’, it becomes difficult to express your true self. And so we go along with the influences of society and our caregivers.

It would be great to be in a position where we are completely happy and fulfilled. Many people are, but quite a few more are still on the journey to that point. If you are starting to work on your dream life, then it is time to be questioning the rules of life.

Think deeply about the expectations from others that shaped your life to the point where it is now. A great place to start is to remove the word should from your vocabulary and your internal dialogue. Re-write the rules of your life that don’t resonate with you, and start living on your terms. There is no doubt that some of the old rules will be OK for you. But the rules that don’t fit your idea of your dream life need to be erased and your own rules added. Then you have every chance to live your life your way.

Taking the Plunge with a One Way Ticket

One Way Ticket to Asia

One Way Ticket to Asia

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but the past few weeks have been a bit of a blur. A whirlwind of visiting friends, some delightful small gatherings and final farewells with relatives. We had a massive wedding on hubby’s side of the family which was a fantastic way to catch up with everyone and tell them our crazy plans. Plus, we both overindulged with way too much food and wine thrown into the mix. If I remember rightly, I hiccuped and giggled all the way back from the wedding reception. By my side was hubby chuckling softly and shushing me to be quiet. Yeah right. I just increased the intensity of hiccups and giggles in the middle of a still night. The other hotel guests must have wondered what the silly bunch of noises were that emanated across the ground. It has been a riot of fun capped off with a weekend in Sydney with our closest friend prior to flying out on Monday 11 March – one way ticket in hand.

The only way to really describe how I have felt in these past weeks though is from Seinfeld.

(Kramer) “I’m freaking right out here Jerry!”

Surely you have had this type of lead up to a big life event. Super excited one minute, and totally flipping out the next. When a gigantic life change is about to happen, it is usually accompanied by mixed emotions.  In my mind, this is a massive change. I have temporarily given up a great life for the hope of an even greater one.

For me taking the plunge, and the time, I have been pining for over the past 18 months to finally work in my business is monumental. It means that I need to move my business from a pipe dream to a reality. There is a mountain of work and adjustment in front of me, in front of both of us, as we adjust to this new life. Going overseas but not going on holidays is quite bizarre. No activities to plan, no Pina Coladas by the ocean, no shopping ‘til you drop, no over indulgences  It doesn’t have that same vacation anticipation. In many ways that is a good thing. Whilst I always feel like a tourist in a foreign country, I still want to absorb myself into the culture and get to know the locals, not just go nuts for 7 days and come home exhausted.

My motivation is that I want the lifestyle of earning my income from my laptop. This lifestyle means different things to different people. For me it means time to spend with family and friends, and time to travel on a flexible schedule and see the world. Many times I have sat down and thought about the alternatives such as working temp jobs and saving to go on extended trips. It could work, but it doesn’t hold the same appeal in my eyes.

What would this type of lifestyle mean to you?

Feb 13, 2013 - Fear Setting    3 Comments

Holy smokes Batman, I just had an epiphany

Costa Rica Toucan

Holy smokes Batman, I just had an epiphany. One could call it a brain fart, but in fact it was far more intelligent than that. At least I think so.

I would never admit that I am middle aged, merely thirty, flirty and thriving. OK maybe thirty something. Plus a little bit. And maybe only flirty with my hubby and a little cheeky with everyone else. Thriving? Hell yeah and loving it.

Occasionally my crazy little thirty something brain goes into overdrive. You would think I was an introvert. Someone who contemplates a lot. Actually  I am, but I digress. The thought of retirement scares the bejeezers out of me. In fact, to put it out there to the world, I don’t believe in retirement. (I do still believe in Santa Clause though because if you don’t he doesn’t come). I prefer to slide through life slightly sideways and enjoy mini retirements. I have been upping the ante on these. A two month retirement, and a four month one, with a couple of nasty little two week holidays thrown in. Actually these can be kinda fun because you can go all hell for leather and do everything all at once. And NOW there is the delightful little one way ticket that I hold in my hand ready for departure in a smidge under a month. Looooonnnnngggggggg mini retirement here we come.

Focus Bec!…How is it that I keep digressing? Are you sure you aren’t out there being all sneaky and throwing around bright and shiny objects at me?

So, back to my epiphany. I had a teeny little freak out a month or so back. It went something along the lines of this:

“So, you are nearly 40 you know, what about retirement. You just aren’t planning for your future.” Then there is this long and boring conversation about cash flow, pensions, saving for retirement. Blah blah blah. My brain switched itself off immediately as you can well imagine. It is not that I am an ignorant biatch, I just didn’t feel inclined to buy into someone else’s fears. And nearly 40? Not in my head. Then the foolish brain waves started and I did buy into the fear. Albeit briefly.

The remedy?
 

Firstly there was a phone call to my older sister. She is a bit of a hippy and was like “who cares about retirement – just go have fun. I couldn’t give flying fluff about it. Planning? Hell no”. I immediately loved her even more at this point.

Secondly, I heard Natalie from the Suitcase Entrepreneur interview Nadine Hays Pisani from Happier than a Billionaire. WOW light bulb moment. I read Nadine’s book “Happier Than a Billionaire: Quitting My Job, Moving to Costa Rica, and Living the Zero Hour Work Week” about 18 months ago and clearly missed the crucial element of the book: The Zero Hour Work Week. The bit where she tells the devious little secret that divulges how she could live in Costa Rica working zero hours. Seriously I can be that stupid. In the podcast interview however, it was all so clear. Her and hubby sold everything, the business, the house, the whole shebang and moved to Costa Rica. Selling her stuff meant ten years of living in Costa Rica without working a single hour. 10 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together – dumbass. That got me thinking…

I whipped out the calculator, Excel was overkill for this kind of excitement, and tallied it up if hubby and I were to do the same. The answer came out at 21.5 years.

I was stunned.

That estimate hadn’t even taken into account compulsory retirement savings that are forced in Australia through Superannuation (401K if you are doing it American Style – I have no idea what the equivalent is in Gangnam Style…. PSY might know).

Now I am not saying that I am going to sell everything and move to Costa Rica, though it would be nice. Being blissfully married means a certain level of compromise and a groovy travel partner who also happens to double nicely as a 6’4” bodyguard. This newfound information immediately made me feel deliriously happy about the future. All of my concerns about the immense changes in our life this year magically faded. In fact, I bounced in the door after work with a big fat grin on my face. I am sure hubby thought I must have been possessed by Tigger. And he might just be right

Feb 10, 2013 - Fear Setting    3 Comments

Take Life by the Balls

Taking Life by the Balls

Have you seen the expressionless crowd of faces?

I see this scene around me here at work. Team mates just going through the motions. Barely a smile. Barely even acknowledgement that those around them exist. Their quiet, hushed conversations can be heard if you listen intently. Their last day of work will be the beginning of their life. Ahhh the promised land of retirement. That sunny, golden place that makes their tired eyes light up and their heart skip a beat with pure joy. The glorious day that they can finally start living life.

Waking up on their first day of retirement, they realize that many of the beautiful dreams they once had, are now impossible for whatever reason. Retirement becomes a time of regrets, of ‘I wish I had done’ moments. Of lost opportunities and broken dreams and promises. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen it or how it makes me feel.

This whole heart wrenching scene is the reason why I am reaching out to the world. I want my readers to start taking life by the balls, and even giving a bit of a tight squeeze just so it is a little uncomfortable, instead of suffering from ‘what if’.

People all over the world, ordinary everyday people, are embracing the discomfort, facing their fear, and charging towards fulfilling their dreams. No rich family. No massive inheritance. No golden handshake. Just a deep urge to make a positive change in their life.

The one certainty in life – death – is inching ever closer. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but frankly some people just kind of forget that today or tomorrow could be their last day on earth. Tell me, if you knew the exact day you were going to die, and it was sooner than you imagined, what would you change?

Transformation can be immediate, or they might take a little fine tuning and a little time to plan. But you can adjust your mindset now and move towards the life you have always dreamed of.

Take life by the balls. Make your dreams happen.

Your Need to be Right

I have been inspired by Marc and Angel’s 10 Things You Must Give up to Move Forward based on principles by Steven R Covey. it was shared by a very good friend of mine through Facebook. So I have decided to put myself out there and write my thoughts on each of the 10 things based on my personal experience and opinion.

The best things in life don’t come from being right

Number 6 | Your Need to be Right

To move forward in life you really need to pick your battles. When you are always trying to be right, it makes it very difficult to learn new things and progress towards your chosen lifestyle. It is not worth ending important relationships with the people you love because you feel you always have to be right. It is a very fast way to alienate friends and colleagues as well.

It is fine to be passionate about what you’re doing and to want a better life for yourself. Being driven and determined are not bad traits to have. But always being aggressive and argumentative is not the way to treat your immediate friends and family.

The people close to you are your support network. They are the ones that helps keep you balanced when you are trying to make progress. It is okay to be wrong and it is okay to get some constructive criticism. Receiving feedback from those around you is a great way to grow within yourself and get new ideas for your life. However, continually arguing and trying to bring others down around you will move you backwards faster than you can blink.

Always trying to be right is not the way to move yourself towards to an improved version of your life. CLICK TO TWEET

A little bit of compromise and grace will go a long way to helping you having the life you desire. It will make those around you feel more comfortable and you will be more comfortable with your decisions. You deserve the best in life and you deserve every chance for success in the world. But you don’t always have to be right.

10 things you must give up to move forward based on principles by Steven R Covey

10 things you must give up to move forward based on principles by Steven R Covey

Procrastinating about the Goals that Matter

I have been inspired by Marc and Angel’s 10 Things You Must Give up to Move Forward based on principles by Steven R Covey. it was shared by a very good friend of mine through Facebook. So I have decided to put myself out there and write my thoughts on each of the 10 things based on my personal experience and opinion.

Procrastination - Do it

Number 4 | Procrastinating About the Goals that Matter

 

Here is a hard fact. You only have one life. And it is short.

You need to ask yourself:

* What are the goals that matter to you?

* Are you actually Dreamlining – like really writing down your dreams and goals?

* Have you added a date to every single one of your Dreamlines?

* Have you sat down and worked out how much your Dreamlines will cost you?

* Are your goals important enough to actually do something about them?

My guess is, if you aren’t getting any closer, then the answer is no. Even if your Dreamlines take longer than the time you have allocated to them, so what? At least you are making progress, not procrastinating.

I can tell you that I have been procrastinating about my business. Nothing else in life, just that.

So you and I have two choices.

  1. Accept conditions as they exist (and die of terminal boredom) or

  1. Accept responsibility for your life as it is now, and start taking steps to pull your life inline with your goals

By the way, here is a tip: only Dreamline and write goals that will lead you to live an inspired life. A life that you have designed to suit YOU. This is not selfish. You owe it to yourself to feel completely fulfilled by your Dreamlines.

If your biggest Dreamline in life is to be a hammock tester, then figure out how you are going to do that. If you want to work less than 20 hours a week so you can spend time with your family, then Dreamline a way to achieve it. Your goals are yours and yours alone. Not anyone else’s. You might have to make some tough choices to be able to achieve the Dreamlines that really excite you. Look at ways you can manipulate reality to achieve what you want.

So what are the goals that matter to you? Have you been procrastinating? What are you going to do now to make your Dreamlines happen?

10 things you must give up to move forward based on principles by Steven R Covey

10 things you must give up to move forward based on principles by Steven R Covey

Letting the Options of Others Control Your Life

I have been inspired by Marc and Angel’s 10 Things You Must Give up to Move Forward based on principles by Steven R Covey. it was shared by a very good friend of mine through Facebook. So I have decided to put myself out there and write my thoughts on each of the 10 things based on my personal experience and opinion.

Listen to your Heart

10 Things you Must Give Up to Move Forward – Letting the Opinion of Others Control your Life

Number 1 | Letting the Options of Others Control your Life

This is the first on the list and of the whole list, this one resonated with me the most. I often feel torn between the life I truly want and the life that I feel is expected of me. Here’s the thing, I am scared of what my family will think. I don’t care about what anyone else thinks, except my family. They say that they just want us to be happy, and I am sure they do. But it seems that they want us to be happy on their terms not ours. Neither my husband or I want to be in the one job for 20 years. At the moment I love the temp work that I am doing. I feel like I am saving money towards travel at a rate of knots, and I am learning new skills too. I just don’t want to do it forever. I want to build my business and take a 3 month break or longer next year to do it. I would love it if the income from my business could support me and I had control over my finances and future, not someone else. I have built my business idea “backwards” – started with the end in mind.

I want to have complete freedom of location to be able to either be at home to spend time with family and friends, or live overseas for a few months at a time. I will always want to come home, it is a great spot to hang – but I yearn for adventure too. Seeing new things, tasting new foods and experiencing all the cultures the world has to offer. I get itchy feet if I am on the ground too long.

I might want to have it all. I might have unrealistic expectations of what I can achieve, but I listen to the people who are living aspects of my dream life and I feel like I am not alone.

Deep down, I don’t want my family to disapprove of me for making the choices to live the life I want. I don’t expect them to understand, but I would love their support. So how do I move on from this? Well for starters I am going to do it all anyway regardless.

I do think that my ideas are worth pursing and I do think that ultimately they will lead me in the direction that I expect they will. My absolute motivation for all of these life decisions is to spend time with the people I love – my friends and family, and most of all, my husband.

All we have in this world is the time we have left, nothing more nothing less. As I mentioned in my previous post about The Universe, at the end of my time on earth, no one will care how much money I have or don’t. No one will care about my career or any of my other decisions that have lead me to the life I have chosen. The only thing that anyone will care about is the time I spent with them while I was alive, because that is what they will remember. And so there is every reason on earth to pursue the life I want, so I can give that back to the people I choose to care about and spend time with. And that includes my family…

10 things you must give up to move forward based on principles by Steven R Covey

10 things you must give up to move forward based on principles by Steven R Covey

Nov 18, 2012 - Fear Setting    2 Comments

How to Take Charge of your Life in the Next Six Months

 Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, know what's even scarier? Regret

If you could do anything in the next 6 months to change your life what would it be? What would be a Dreamline so far out of your comfort zone that it would scare you half to death if you actually did it? A Dreamline so big that your life would change one way or another? 
 
I have been thinking about this today. My life, actually our life, is at a crossroads. 
 
For me, if I spent six months working solidly on my digital scrapbooking business and other income producing ideas, I would know if there was a chance that my businesses would succeed or not. Even scarier is, what if I wasn’t successful? My whole direction in life would have to change. I do want to be my own boss and create my own income. I know in my heart that online business is the way for me – I am not interested in a bricks and mortar business. So for me, six months of solid uninterrupted work would be the make or break dreamline. I would know if I had a chance at this game. What if my Dreamline Diary website took off and I could help people like you move closer to your dreams? What if I was truly helping you change your life? What if my digital scrapbooking store made me an income that I could live off? 
 
For my husband, he has had such huge changes in his life with his injury and he hasn’t worked for the past six months. The concept of doing something way out of his comfort zone to make an income would be a massive change. He too would like to be in control of his own future income, but he has no idea of where and how to start. 
 
For us, the answer is to fear set. Write down the worst and best possible outcomes of our situation, and if the chance of a positive outcome outweighs the chance of a negative outcome (and we can continue to survive and pay bills) then we owe it to ourselves to do it. Take the challenge and have a decent crack at it. 
 
So tell me, have you ever made a massive life changing decision? Created a goal or dreamline that was so far removed from your previous ideas in life that your world wasn’t the same after your success? Share your story in the comments below – tell us how you have taken charge of your life.
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